Our Alpharetta Divorce Lawyer's Guide to What to do Before the divorce in Georgia

If you have informed your spouse that you want a divorce and he or she reacted with threats, don’t stay. It’s a hard truth but if you are afraid of your spouse then the marriage is over and you need to get out. If your partner is trying to force you to stay through manipulation or scare tactics then you will need help and that is why we are here.

We are very experienced with helping clients who are scared or intimidated by their spouses. We have the tools to make you and your children safe while the divorce runs its course. For instance, we can help you obtain a Temporary Protective Order. We understand what you are going through, and we will diligently work to get your case handled as quickly as possible while helping to ensure the safety of you and your children.

If you are ready to file for divorce and move forward with your life but fear your spouse’s reaction then contact our experienced divorce attorneys today. You will not go through this alone. We can help.

You will be working closely with your divorce attorney during an extremely stressful time of your life so you need to find a good fit. When you are looking for an experienced divorce attorney, you should look for someone who will:

• Be easy to work with
• Explain the process and answer any questions you may have.
• Inspire confidence
• Be in your price range
• Have a head for numbers and complex finances
• Respond to your calls and give you what you need
• Be available to you during the divorce
• Specialize in Divorce/Family Law and have a deep understanding of the process
• Be honest with you even if it isn’t something you want to hear

• How long have you been in practice?
• How much “in court” experience do you have?
• What other types of law do you practice? What percentage of your practice is represented by cases other than Divorce/Family Law?
• Are you familiar with the courts my case will be filled in? Do you know the judges involved?
• Will you handle my case or will it be handed off to someone else in your office?
• What are your hourly rates?
• Will you give me an itemized bill every month?
• Can I call you with questions?
• How promptly will you return my calls or emails?
• If the case goes to trial can you continue to represent me?
• Is there any way for me to minimize my legal expenses?
• What documents do I need?
• What do you need from me?

Divorce is hard on everyone whether it is the mother or father. But, if you are a mom with children to look out for then you have a lot on your shoulders. This is especially true if you are a working mom because you may feel like working would hurt your chances of retaining custody. To ensure you are protected, you should contact an experienced divorce attorney with extensive knowledge of child custody and support.

In a divorce, one spouse may threaten to take away the children, deny child support or try to make the other spouse look like an unfit parent. It is a terrifying experience and it can put immense strain on a family dynamic.

At Hastings Shadmehry we have represented thousands of clients, both mothers, and fathers. Our experience gives us the ability to help you get what you need from a divorce. We represent our clients aggressively and passionately defend their rights.

If you are a mother and you are thinking about divorce then you will need our help with:

• Child Custody – By having an expert in family law on your side, you are guaranteeing that you have the best possible chance of success. Whether it is retaining custody or developing a fair custody plan, an experienced divorce attorney can get it done for you.
• Child Support – Child support is an integral part of custody cases. The person who doesn’t have primary custody of the children will have to pay child support to the person who has primary physical custody of the kids. If the parent who owes child support refuses to pay, you will need to file a petition with the court to get them to enforce payment. This can lead to the former spouse having their wages garnished to get your past, present, and future payments. In an enforcement situation, a divorce attorney is an invaluable asset.

Family roles have changed a lot over the years and there are more stay-at-home dads now than ever. Since some people still think child-rearing is the woman’s job, these dads are justifiably worried about the outcome of a divorce because it may limit how often they see the kids.

We have handled hundreds of divorce cases on behalf of fathers, and we will work diligently to ensure that you receive equal treatment and consideration in your case.

A common tactic is for your wife to threaten you by saying you will never see the kids again. This is almost never true, it’s just fighting dirty. Instead of using the children as pawns in the divorce, contact an experienced divorce attorney to represent you and defend your rights.

Our legal team can help you with:

• Child Custody – You have as much right to physical custody of your children as your wife does. We can help you fight for your rights. If you are not sure which type of custody is best then we can advise you on the differences between full custody, joint custody, and visitation only.
• Child Support – You should talk with us before agreeing to any payment plans even if you think it’s a good idea. It is very easy to get taken advantage of when you are trying to give your kids the support they need. We can make sure that any support plan you agree to is fair for all parties.

If you would like to discuss details or if you have any questions, send us an email or call us at 770-641-8200.

Getting a divorce is often a traumatic experience and many people would rather keep it to themselves. Even the people who would like to get it out in the open find it difficult to bring it up in a casual conversation. Don’t be too concerned about the reactions of others because they have either been through it or know someone who has. Plus, if they are your friends and family then you need them to know so they can act as your support system. Just knowing that you have people on your side can make all the difference.

When it comes time to tell people, do it in the way that feels most natural. For instance:

• Family doesn’t usually stand on ceremony so you can tell them with a phone call or a face to face. You may want to wait until you see them in person, in case they have some advice for you or words of encouragement.
• Your employer will need to know because you will most likely have to take time off of work at some point. An email or quick meeting with them should be all it takes.
• Friends and acquaintances could just be notified via text message, email, or social media. You can choose whichever method with which you feel most comfortable.

How do you break the news to your kids?

As gently as possible is the only answer. This is the most dreaded part of any divorce for those involved. It is going to hurt but it is better coming from you than if they find out from someone else. So, go ahead and break it to them as soon as possible after your divorce filing.

Have a family meeting that includes:

• All the family members and no distractions
• A discussion of which parent will be moving out. No matter their age, children will need time to adjust to the idea of one parent living elsewhere.
• Letting them ask questions and reassuring them that they will still be loved and taken care of.
• The two parents act as a unified front in front of the kids. Save the disagreements for later because the kids already have enough to worry about.

Watch for your kids’ reactions

Some children will cope better than others, but you should never get so wrapped up in the details of the divorce that you fail to notice warning signs. A child may seem fine but their grades may start to dip and they may start acting out. If you notice any negative behavior then you need to sit down with your kids and try to get them to talk about what is bothering them. Continue monitoring the situation even after the divorce is finalized.

If you’re lucky then your kids will understand the need for a divorce. They may even be relieved because the constant bickering and stress will be a thing of the past. Children today are more aware of the benefits of divorce because so many of their friends have gone through it. Those same friends can help them through the process as well.

Not in front of the kids!

Keep any conflicts strictly between you and your spouse. Don’t let the children hear you arguing with or talking negatively about one another. Since you will soon be going your separate ways, your kids need to understand that you still operate as a team when it comes to raising them. If you try to drag them into your fight, tell them too many details,  or use them as bargaining chips against one another then they will be the ones getting hurt. Don’t put them in the middle.

If you have any questions regarding how to tell your children or other loved ones about the divorce, we at Hastings Shadmehry are here to help. We have the experience you and your children need to handle your divorce in a healthy way.

Talk with your Divorce Attorney beforehand

It may seem odd to talk with a divorce attorney before telling your spouse, but it is just common sense.  Most likely your spouse already knows that trouble is brewing, but there is a small chance that they have no idea about your intentions. The way you break the news to your spouse can actually have a significant impact on your case so it is always a good idea to get advice from the experts before proceeding.

Why go to the professionals first?

The first person to file for divorce can have a definite advantage. If you contact an attorney before telling your spouse you can then do things like:

• Have your lawyer draw up a document to notify your spouse of the divorce.
• Have your attorney get a Temporary Protective Order put into place if you think your spouse may be dangerous.
• Be the party to present evidence and testimony first and last at any hearing or trial in your case, should it get to that point.

How to handle the response

Each person will react differently when they are informed of an impending divorce. Reactions can run the spectrum from acceptance to rage. Some of the most common reactions will be:

• Begging for another chance or reconsideration
• A demand for explanation
• Threats or ultimatums
• A departure to go think things over
• Utter silence

Some spouses will threaten to take all of the money or take away the children. These threats are normally just scare tactics and are completely unrealistic. Times like these are when you need an experienced divorce attorney to explain the realities of alimony, child support, and spousal support so you will know which threats to ignore and which to take seriously.

If your spouse tells you that he or she will take your children and you will never see them again, they are almost always wrong. Parental rights in Georgia for mothers and fathers are well established and our experienced attorneys can help you protect these rights. Plus, courts do not look favorably on a parent who tries to use their kids as bargaining tools. When such threats are dealt with properly, this tactic will oftentimes backfire and have a negative impact on your spouse’s custody case.

A common tactic is for the spouse to drag out the divorce in hopes that you will give up or run out of money. Our attorneys are familiar with stall tactics and can continue to move your case forward regardless of your spouse’s best efforts. In fact, if a spouse attempts to stall, they can find themselves in legal trouble of their own.