Conflict will always be present in life, this is especially the case when you have gone through a divorce and are both continuing to raise a child or children together. When dealing with an ex-spouse it can be difficult to put your differences aside, but when it comes to raising children you don’t have a choice. Here are some great tips on recognizing conflict and how to better deal with issues as they arise.
How To Handle or Reduce Conflicts
Learning when to let it go
There are going to be times, probably many, where you and your ex don’t see eye to eye. It’s important that you know when to “choose your battles”, and when you should stand your ground as a parent. There’s a major difference in a conflicts that involve your ex not doing something the way that you would, and perhaps something that might put your child in harm’s way, or that conflicts with your morals as a parent. One of the obstacles you’ll have to overcome is knowing and understanding that each parent may have their own parenting “style” and as long as both parents have the best interest of the child at heart, you’ll have to let it go.
Planning accordingly for the future…
A great way to recognize when conflict may arise is to vision how you want this to work out. Then, take a look at the reality of the situation, focus on things that you could do differently or handle being done differently and tackle any problems you foresee before they arise. If it helps, have a conversation with your ex and get their thoughts on the situation. You want to set and achieve real goals as a parents, instead of spending your time arguing with your ex. This will ensure that you, your child and your ex get the best from this type of family situation and in the end that’s all that matters.
Keep communication open…
This can’t be stressed enough, you and your ex are both still the parents of a beautiful child or children. You need to be able to communicate important, and even seemingly unimportant, things in your child’s life to the other parent effectively. If it’s easier a quick email or text just to keep the parent updated on things big and small going on in your child’s life can make a big difference. It will also allow your child’s relationship with the both of you to grow because no one is left in the dark about important things that could be effecting your child’s health, moods or attitude in general.
Bite your tongue…
If you and your ex cannot seem to resolve an issue it could be time for counselling or another outlet for communication. The worst thing you can do however is give your ex an “ear-full” because you don’t agree. This will only lead to feelings of anger and resentment in an already stressful situation. If you can’t speak with your ex keep communication to texts and emails, and keep your answers short and too the point.
These are just a few tips for divorced parents that may help to reduce conflict before it begins. These are the keys to keeping your relationship with your ex and your child healthy, and ensure that your child gets the most from their time spent with each parent.